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TV Meme Day 24 - better late than never
Best Quote
This meme wants me dead. I spent so long on this that there are shows I never got around to checking quotes for - I know I'm missing a load of good NCIS/Numb3rs/Dr Who quotes out, so I might have to come back and revisit this one :) Anyway, because just one quote is completely impossible, have my fave quotes from some of my fave shows :)
Cold Case
Suspect's mother: I got my rights!
Kat Miller: I'll give you a right. And a couple of lefts too if you don't start talking straight.
Lilly: You find this (Henry) Mack?
Scotty: Six feet under in Trenton.
Jeffries: Tough interview...
Owen Murphy: You a lesbian?
Kat Miller: You a jackass?
Lt. Stillman: Legally, the DA can't lie to a suspect...
Scotty: Ahh, but we can.
Kat Miller: I love this job.
Lt. John Stillman: (barking) Miller! In here. Now.
(Kat looks at Scotty, slightly panicking, and walks into the lieutenant's office.)
Kat Miller: What's up?
Lt. Stillman: (showing her a juice box) How in the hell do you open this thing?
Kat Miller: There's this new device called a straw.
Lt. Stillman: Straw?
(Kat rips the straw from the side of the box and unwraps it.)
Lt. Stillman: I didn't see that.
Kat Miller: Why don't you let the four-year-old show you. Hey, Sean. How 'bout some juice, buddy?
(Stillman examines closely as Sean plunges the straw into the juice box and takes a sip.)
Kat Miller: (to Stillman) You wanna go interview a murder suspect or something, boss? To calm yourself down?
Carlos: You think dancing is for weaklings? (getting up) When was the last time you carried your body weight on your toes while running, throwing a woman in the air and catching her, without breaking a sweat?
Det. Vera: It's been a while.
Will Jeffries: (about his late wife) That night at Dinks', they were playing Miles Davis, her favorite. I... I haven't played one of his records since. It's been twelve years.
John Stillman: Long time, Will.
Will Jeffries: Yet it feels like yesterday. (sighs) She's not coming back, is she, John?
John Stillman: (whispering) No, she's not.
Nick Vera: Popular, pretty, lots of friends... Who'd want to kill someone like that?
Kat Miller: I would. (Nick and Lilly look at her)
Lilly Rush: High school.
Nick: Oh, yeah... There's not a whole lot of natural light at super max. We'll be sure to send you a postcard and let you know what season it is.
Delonte: Hey, what's up? We had a deal.
Will: You got somebody to testify to that?
Delonte: ...
Will: Didn't think so.
Vera: This man said he was with the FBI?
Elmer Gibbins: Of course he didn't say it. He was an undercover agent, not a moron! (to Kat) Is this guy new?
Kat: (deadpan) Total rookie.
Vera: (after interviewing Elmer Gibbins) Is the boss punishing us for something?
Kat: Told ya not to steal his paper clips
Jeffries: We go in circles for a hour. Finally, he admits the box holding them is, get this, four rows back.
Vera: Man, that's got to be ten, twelve feet?
Jeffries: He's not going to waddle his fast-food self all that way. Afraid the Hamburglar might grab him.
Scotty: Oil of wintergreen is toxic? What, like, death by breath mint?
Kat: (listing poison's uses) Flavouring of candy, fragrence in muscle rubs and lip balms and, err, bee-keeping.
Scotty: Bee-keeping?!
Kat: (quoting) An essential component for promoting healthy swarms.
Scotty: So after tap class, Chelsea Cutler's tendin' her bees?
Kat: And why do you keep saying 'she'? It could have been a guy, you know?
Scotty: Come on, you know how the ladies love to poison.
(Scotty's about to take a sip out of his coffee.)
Kat: Better watch what you drink.
Vera: Croatia for a vacation, huh?
Jeffries: It's a beautiful country.
Vera: What, Beirut was booked?
Bell: (on the phone) We'll talk later. Son of a bitch.
Lilly: Tough case?
Bell: Yeah. My ex-wife, aka soulcrusher.
Rick: Know what it's like to weigh 110 pounds?
Vera: Not since fifth grade.
Rick: 1200 pound horse shattered my pelvis in '92. You got something to say, say it.
Vera: I hope the horse was OK.
The West Wing
Toby: Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?
Mrs. Landingham: The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?
Toby: Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.
Mrs. Landingham: What age would that be, Toby?
Toby: Late twenties?
Mrs. Landingham: Atta boy.
Josh: President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. That's what he pays me for.
Reporter: I'm curious about the President's farm in Manchester. The property value increased $750,000. What's that due to?
C.J.: Secret Service improvements.
Reporter: Can you go into detail, please?
C.J.: The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.
Bartlet: Did you have a drink yesterday?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: Do you plan to have a drink today?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: That's all you ever have to say to me.
Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the one point six of you who are stoned right now that it’s time to share.
Josh: An hour with you in a rare book store. Couldn't you just drop me off the top of the Washington Monument instead?
Bartlet: It's Christmas, Josh! No reason we can't do both.
Cochran: I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Charlie: Well, I'm Personal Aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now trying to find a back door to this place to shove you out of.
C.J.: We're confirming now that a suspect is in custody, and is being questioned by federal law enforcement . At this time, we cannot, we are not releasing any information whatsoever about the suspect.
Steve: Can you tell us anything, his name, where he's from, his ethnicity, if you guys suspect a motive?
C.J.: Yes, Steve, I can tell you those things, because when I said that we weren't releasing any information whatsoever, I meant except than his name, his address, his ethnicity, and what we think his motives are.
Sam: [about why we should go to Mars] 'Cause it's next. 'Cause we came out of the cave and we looked over the hill and we saw fire. And we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration and this is what's next.
Bartlet: We never anticipated they somebody might try that? We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated it's an entire generation behind "Hey look, your shoelaces are untied!?" Is that how I just lost nine guys, to a damn street gang with a ham radio!?
Bartlet: The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day.
Bartlet: She dumped a Rhodes Scholar for this guy. Zoey left Charlie for the frog. Ellie and the guitar player with the purple van. My children choose morons, every one.
Debbie: They say daughters look for their fathers.
Margaret: I reached Oliver Babish. He says you owe him a raspberry panna cotta cheesecake.
CJ: He'll live.
Margaret: Longer, probably.
Martin Sheen: Good evening. On December 16, we lost our good friend and colleague John Spencer. Through our shock and grief, we can think of no more fitting memorial to this wonderful man, this extraordinary actor, than to share with you, beginning tonight, the last few months of his work here on The West Wing. Johnny, it seems we hardly knew you; we love you and we miss you.
Leverage
Eliot: Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl?
[cripples squealing meth head]
Eliot: That's the right answer.
Nathan: You just kill a guy with an appetizer?
Eliot: I don’t know, maybe.
Parker: [looks down to her phone] Hey, it's Peggy from the trial. She wants to have coffee next week... Aww, Alice made a friend!
Eliot: I'm gonna tell you one more time: you made a friend, not Alice.
Parker: Ah cool..well..think she'll want to steal a painting with me?
Sophie: Start small, Parker... Try coffee.
Hardison: Can you please not play with the little naked man?
Parker: (reading a review of Sophie's new role)"Never before has a production of the "Sound of Music" made me root for the Nazis..."
Sophie: *moans*
Parker: I'm so glad I don't live in the real world.
Parker: My money’s not in my account. That makes me cry inside, in my special, angry place.
Nate: How was Washington?
Sophie: Villains, con men, wolves in sheep’s clothing. Felt right at home.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Bones McCoy: Well it's a new ship - but she's got the right name. Now you remember that, you hear?
Data: I will, Sir
Bones: You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home.
Q: (to Worf) Eaten any good books lately?
Data: If you prick me, do I not... leak?
Worf: Sir, I protest! I am NOT a merry man!!!
Picard: There! are! four! lights!
Picard: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been… is over. From this time forward, you will service… us.
Riker: Mr. Worf... fire.
Data: The advocate will refrain from making her opponent disappear.
Worf: Push, Keiko! Push! Push!
Keiko: I AM PUSHING!
Riker: You just can't stay away from the big chair, can you ?
Troi: I don't think I am cut out to be captain. First officer maybe, I understand there aren't many qualifications.
K'Ehleyr: (to Worf) Not even a bite on the cheek for old times' sake ?
Q: What must I do to convince you I'm human?
Worf: Die!
Jean-Luc Picard: It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.
Data: It is a matter of perspective, Doctor. In the strictest sense, I did not win, I.... busted him up.
Star Trek: Voyager
Janeway: Dismissed.
Neelix: (stands there dumbfounded) B...but...
Janeway: That's Starfleet for "get out".
Torres: Get the cheese to sickbay!
Paris: Tuvok, did anyone ever tell you you're a real freakasaurus?
Janeway: There's coffee in that nebula!
B'Elanna Torres: How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?
Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck 9 section 12 who does not know when you're having intimate relations.
The Doctor: Seven. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Seven of Nine: I have a date.
Alpha Hirogen: I once tracked a silicon-based lifeform through the neutronium mantle of a collapsed star.
Tom Paris: I once tracked a mouse through Jefferies tube thirty two.
B'Elanna Torres: The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park.
Tom Paris: If you hear muffled screams, consider that a request for a beam out.
Captain Janeway: Coffee, black.
Neelix: I'm sorry, Captain. We've lost another two replicators –
Janeway: Listen to me very carefully because I'm only going to say this once. Coffee – black.
This meme wants me dead. I spent so long on this that there are shows I never got around to checking quotes for - I know I'm missing a load of good NCIS/Numb3rs/Dr Who quotes out, so I might have to come back and revisit this one :) Anyway, because just one quote is completely impossible, have my fave quotes from some of my fave shows :)
Cold Case
Suspect's mother: I got my rights!
Kat Miller: I'll give you a right. And a couple of lefts too if you don't start talking straight.
Lilly: You find this (Henry) Mack?
Scotty: Six feet under in Trenton.
Jeffries: Tough interview...
Owen Murphy: You a lesbian?
Kat Miller: You a jackass?
Lt. Stillman: Legally, the DA can't lie to a suspect...
Scotty: Ahh, but we can.
Kat Miller: I love this job.
Lt. John Stillman: (barking) Miller! In here. Now.
(Kat looks at Scotty, slightly panicking, and walks into the lieutenant's office.)
Kat Miller: What's up?
Lt. Stillman: (showing her a juice box) How in the hell do you open this thing?
Kat Miller: There's this new device called a straw.
Lt. Stillman: Straw?
(Kat rips the straw from the side of the box and unwraps it.)
Lt. Stillman: I didn't see that.
Kat Miller: Why don't you let the four-year-old show you. Hey, Sean. How 'bout some juice, buddy?
(Stillman examines closely as Sean plunges the straw into the juice box and takes a sip.)
Kat Miller: (to Stillman) You wanna go interview a murder suspect or something, boss? To calm yourself down?
Carlos: You think dancing is for weaklings? (getting up) When was the last time you carried your body weight on your toes while running, throwing a woman in the air and catching her, without breaking a sweat?
Det. Vera: It's been a while.
Will Jeffries: (about his late wife) That night at Dinks', they were playing Miles Davis, her favorite. I... I haven't played one of his records since. It's been twelve years.
John Stillman: Long time, Will.
Will Jeffries: Yet it feels like yesterday. (sighs) She's not coming back, is she, John?
John Stillman: (whispering) No, she's not.
Nick Vera: Popular, pretty, lots of friends... Who'd want to kill someone like that?
Kat Miller: I would. (Nick and Lilly look at her)
Lilly Rush: High school.
Nick: Oh, yeah... There's not a whole lot of natural light at super max. We'll be sure to send you a postcard and let you know what season it is.
Delonte: Hey, what's up? We had a deal.
Will: You got somebody to testify to that?
Delonte: ...
Will: Didn't think so.
Vera: This man said he was with the FBI?
Elmer Gibbins: Of course he didn't say it. He was an undercover agent, not a moron! (to Kat) Is this guy new?
Kat: (deadpan) Total rookie.
Vera: (after interviewing Elmer Gibbins) Is the boss punishing us for something?
Kat: Told ya not to steal his paper clips
Jeffries: We go in circles for a hour. Finally, he admits the box holding them is, get this, four rows back.
Vera: Man, that's got to be ten, twelve feet?
Jeffries: He's not going to waddle his fast-food self all that way. Afraid the Hamburglar might grab him.
Scotty: Oil of wintergreen is toxic? What, like, death by breath mint?
Kat: (listing poison's uses) Flavouring of candy, fragrence in muscle rubs and lip balms and, err, bee-keeping.
Scotty: Bee-keeping?!
Kat: (quoting) An essential component for promoting healthy swarms.
Scotty: So after tap class, Chelsea Cutler's tendin' her bees?
Kat: And why do you keep saying 'she'? It could have been a guy, you know?
Scotty: Come on, you know how the ladies love to poison.
(Scotty's about to take a sip out of his coffee.)
Kat: Better watch what you drink.
Vera: Croatia for a vacation, huh?
Jeffries: It's a beautiful country.
Vera: What, Beirut was booked?
Bell: (on the phone) We'll talk later. Son of a bitch.
Lilly: Tough case?
Bell: Yeah. My ex-wife, aka soulcrusher.
Rick: Know what it's like to weigh 110 pounds?
Vera: Not since fifth grade.
Rick: 1200 pound horse shattered my pelvis in '92. You got something to say, say it.
Vera: I hope the horse was OK.
The West Wing
Toby: Mrs. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning?
Mrs. Landingham: The President has nothing but free time, Toby. Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis and Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you?
Toby: Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham.
Mrs. Landingham: What age would that be, Toby?
Toby: Late twenties?
Mrs. Landingham: Atta boy.
Josh: President Bartlet's a good man. He's got a good heart. He doesn't hold a grudge. That's what he pays me for.
Reporter: I'm curious about the President's farm in Manchester. The property value increased $750,000. What's that due to?
C.J.: Secret Service improvements.
Reporter: Can you go into detail, please?
C.J.: The property now includes a helipad and the ability to run a global war from the sun porch.
Bartlet: Did you have a drink yesterday?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: Do you plan to have a drink today?
Leo: No, sir.
Bartlet: That's all you ever have to say to me.
Josh: Five White House staffers in the room. I would like to say to the one point six of you who are stoned right now that it’s time to share.
Josh: An hour with you in a rare book store. Couldn't you just drop me off the top of the Washington Monument instead?
Bartlet: It's Christmas, Josh! No reason we can't do both.
Cochran: I'd like to speak to your supervisor.
Charlie: Well, I'm Personal Aide to the President, so my supervisor's a little busy right now trying to find a back door to this place to shove you out of.
C.J.: We're confirming now that a suspect is in custody, and is being questioned by federal law enforcement . At this time, we cannot, we are not releasing any information whatsoever about the suspect.
Steve: Can you tell us anything, his name, where he's from, his ethnicity, if you guys suspect a motive?
C.J.: Yes, Steve, I can tell you those things, because when I said that we weren't releasing any information whatsoever, I meant except than his name, his address, his ethnicity, and what we think his motives are.
Sam: [about why we should go to Mars] 'Cause it's next. 'Cause we came out of the cave and we looked over the hill and we saw fire. And we crossed the ocean and we pioneered the West and we took to the sky. The history of man is hung on a timeline of exploration and this is what's next.
Bartlet: We never anticipated they somebody might try that? We weren't prepared for someone to try and outfox us with a stratagem so sophisticated it's an entire generation behind "Hey look, your shoelaces are untied!?" Is that how I just lost nine guys, to a damn street gang with a ham radio!?
Bartlet: The only thing you ever had to do to make me happy was come home at the end of the day.
Bartlet: She dumped a Rhodes Scholar for this guy. Zoey left Charlie for the frog. Ellie and the guitar player with the purple van. My children choose morons, every one.
Debbie: They say daughters look for their fathers.
Margaret: I reached Oliver Babish. He says you owe him a raspberry panna cotta cheesecake.
CJ: He'll live.
Margaret: Longer, probably.
Martin Sheen: Good evening. On December 16, we lost our good friend and colleague John Spencer. Through our shock and grief, we can think of no more fitting memorial to this wonderful man, this extraordinary actor, than to share with you, beginning tonight, the last few months of his work here on The West Wing. Johnny, it seems we hardly knew you; we love you and we miss you.
Leverage
Eliot: Hey, what smells like crank and screams like a girl?
[cripples squealing meth head]
Eliot: That's the right answer.
Nathan: You just kill a guy with an appetizer?
Eliot: I don’t know, maybe.
Parker: [looks down to her phone] Hey, it's Peggy from the trial. She wants to have coffee next week... Aww, Alice made a friend!
Eliot: I'm gonna tell you one more time: you made a friend, not Alice.
Parker: Ah cool..well..think she'll want to steal a painting with me?
Sophie: Start small, Parker... Try coffee.
Hardison: Can you please not play with the little naked man?
Parker: (reading a review of Sophie's new role)"Never before has a production of the "Sound of Music" made me root for the Nazis..."
Sophie: *moans*
Parker: I'm so glad I don't live in the real world.
Parker: My money’s not in my account. That makes me cry inside, in my special, angry place.
Nate: How was Washington?
Sophie: Villains, con men, wolves in sheep’s clothing. Felt right at home.
Star Trek: The Next Generation
Bones McCoy: Well it's a new ship - but she's got the right name. Now you remember that, you hear?
Data: I will, Sir
Bones: You treat her like a lady, and she'll always bring you home.
Q: (to Worf) Eaten any good books lately?
Data: If you prick me, do I not... leak?
Worf: Sir, I protest! I am NOT a merry man!!!
Picard: There! are! four! lights!
Picard: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been… is over. From this time forward, you will service… us.
Riker: Mr. Worf... fire.
Data: The advocate will refrain from making her opponent disappear.
Worf: Push, Keiko! Push! Push!
Keiko: I AM PUSHING!
Riker: You just can't stay away from the big chair, can you ?
Troi: I don't think I am cut out to be captain. First officer maybe, I understand there aren't many qualifications.
K'Ehleyr: (to Worf) Not even a bite on the cheek for old times' sake ?
Q: What must I do to convince you I'm human?
Worf: Die!
Jean-Luc Picard: It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.
Data: It is a matter of perspective, Doctor. In the strictest sense, I did not win, I.... busted him up.
Star Trek: Voyager
Janeway: Dismissed.
Neelix: (stands there dumbfounded) B...but...
Janeway: That's Starfleet for "get out".
Torres: Get the cheese to sickbay!
Paris: Tuvok, did anyone ever tell you you're a real freakasaurus?
Janeway: There's coffee in that nebula!
B'Elanna Torres: How the hell do you know when we're having intimate relations?
Seven of Nine: There is no one on deck 9 section 12 who does not know when you're having intimate relations.
The Doctor: Seven. Please state the nature of the medical emergency.
Seven of Nine: I have a date.
Alpha Hirogen: I once tracked a silicon-based lifeform through the neutronium mantle of a collapsed star.
Tom Paris: I once tracked a mouse through Jefferies tube thirty two.
B'Elanna Torres: The Borg wouldn't know fun if they assimilated an amusement park.
Tom Paris: If you hear muffled screams, consider that a request for a beam out.
Captain Janeway: Coffee, black.
Neelix: I'm sorry, Captain. We've lost another two replicators –
Janeway: Listen to me very carefully because I'm only going to say this once. Coffee – black.
no subject
Ahahaha!
Damn, must watch Cold Case, too.
no subject
*cackles*
*steeples fingers*
Exxxxcellent!