posted by ![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
mitchy at 07:24pm on 24/04/2005
mitchy at 07:24pm on 24/04/2005- email sent by Jenni
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they
are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of
Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common
room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their
arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless
and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for
use as a sexual lubricant.
15. "Liften Separatis Crotchum" is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate representation of Muggle life. (see Geyahi's
addenda)
17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange
anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell
"Pwned!".
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Animagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow
leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus. (See ladyiapetus' addenda)
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not "Mentats in training".
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun
as getting dirty".
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as "Admiral Naismith".
39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" And walking away is only funny the first
time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colours indicate that they
are "covered in bees".
2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of
Magical Creatures class.
3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit project for Herbology".
4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.
5. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate.
6. I will not go to class skyclad.
7. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.
8. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hardcore".
9. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".
10. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. "Polishing my wand" in the common
room is not.
11. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their
arm.
12. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
13. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defence Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless
and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
14. I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for
use as a sexual lubricant.
15. "Liften Separatis Crotchum" is not a real spell.
16. I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate representation of Muggle life. (see Geyahi's
addenda)
17. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".
18. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".
19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".
20. I will not call the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange
anorak.
21. There is no such thing as a were-thylacine.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
24. I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
25. Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell
"Pwned!".
26. I am not a sloth Animagus.
27. I am not a tribble Animagus.
28. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow
leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.
29. I do not weight the same as a duck.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
31. I do not have a Dalek Patronus. (See ladyiapetus' addenda)
32. I will not lick Trevor.
33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.
34. The Ravenclaws are not "Mentats in training".
35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.
36. I will not change the password to the prefects' bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun
as getting dirty".
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
38. Professor Flitwick does not wish to be addressed as "Admiral Naismith".
39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" And walking away is only funny the first
time.
40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.
41. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.
42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.
43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.
45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.
46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".
47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.
48. I will not teach the first-years to sing "A Wizard's Staff Has A Knob On The End".
49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
(no subject)