Scribblings from the Mitchy Side

Gacked from alt.fan.harry-potter newsgroup:-

The Top Ten Reason to switch from Owls to Cell Phones


10. Owls moult; cell phones don't

9. Owls regurgitate little piles of bones and fur onto the floor when
they're done eating; cell phones don't

8. Owls don't come with a family plan (The Weasleys could use one)

7. Cell phones can made be secure and untraceable; Owls can be
caught, wounded and stolen from.

6. Cell phones can take pictures, thus providing amusing snapshots
of Sirius and Buckbeak's Wild Adventure. Sirius and Buckbeak standing on
the beach, arm in wing, holding Mai Tai's out for the camera; Sirius and
Buckbeak cavorting with the natives; Sirius and Buckbeak mooning the
camera to make Harry laugh, etc...

5. Owls can't be programmed to play Darth Vader's theme song whenever
Voldemort sends a text message.

4. Owls won't sit quietly in someone's pocket waiting to be needed.

3. Owls swooping around in the daytime, contrary to their nature,
attract a lot of unnecessary attention. Cell phones are subtle and can
be silent.

2. Cell phones won't ever peck their owners when they're feeling
disagreeable.

1. Sex by owl post takes too long, by the time your owl arrives at its
destination your partner isn't interested anymore.

Gacked from alt.fan.harry-potter - the owl's revenge:-

TOP SEVEN REASONS TO SWITCH FROM CELL PHONES TO OWLS:


7. Owls can't secretly take photos in the shower room at the gym, and
then spread them on the Internet.

6. Owls don't give you brain cancer if you hold them against your head.

5. Owls don't bill you for extra minutes if you go over your monthly
limit.

4. Owls don't run low on battery charge when you most need them.

3. Owls don't drop dead when you drive through a tunnel.

2. People don't sit and shout into their owls in public restaurants.

1. Owls don't begin beeping "Hall of the Mountain King" in a crowded
movie theatre during the best part of the movie.

So. I was supposed to go out tonight with thalinoviel. We planned it last week. We were going to see "Layer Cake" and have a cheap pizza meal courtesy of Orange's latest promotional wheeze.

Somebody up there had it in for both of us.

First Thal forgets about it so she's panicking and running late and scampering frantically to King's X.

Then, when I try to start the car to drive over and meet her in Hatfield it refuses to start.

I try ringing her on my mobile only to be told my mobile is outta funds.

I call a taxi company - earliest estimate of a cab was 30 minutes.

I try ringing thalinoviel twice. Each time I get the message service.

*thunks head on desk*

Finally, she rang me, bless her and I told her my woes. We agreed that it clearly wasn't Meant To Be, so we abandoned it. She was just going to turn straight round and catch the next train back. We're gonna try again next Wednesday.

We could probably have gone and seen the film but then she'd have had to faff around with taxis and trains to get home and at 11.30pm or later that wouldn't be fun. Not to mention what we'd spend, combined, on cab fares, though I could have at least shared a cab to the station and taken the train home. I'd still have needed a cab at the other end though. Plus we'd have had no time for food and I, for one, was starving.

Ah well. These things are sent to try us. Now I'm kicking myself for not having gone out earlier. I would at least have known about the car sooner. Hindsight is such a wonderful thing. Bah!

Thal, I promise to buy you oodles of chocolate to make up for the complete shambles your evening must have been faffing around with trains. And we will see "Layer Cake", oh yes.