Scribblings from the Mitchy Side

Gacked from alt.fan.harry-potter newsgroup:-

The Top Ten Reason to switch from Owls to Cell Phones


10. Owls moult; cell phones don't

9. Owls regurgitate little piles of bones and fur onto the floor when
they're done eating; cell phones don't

8. Owls don't come with a family plan (The Weasleys could use one)

7. Cell phones can made be secure and untraceable; Owls can be
caught, wounded and stolen from.

6. Cell phones can take pictures, thus providing amusing snapshots
of Sirius and Buckbeak's Wild Adventure. Sirius and Buckbeak standing on
the beach, arm in wing, holding Mai Tai's out for the camera; Sirius and
Buckbeak cavorting with the natives; Sirius and Buckbeak mooning the
camera to make Harry laugh, etc...

5. Owls can't be programmed to play Darth Vader's theme song whenever
Voldemort sends a text message.

4. Owls won't sit quietly in someone's pocket waiting to be needed.

3. Owls swooping around in the daytime, contrary to their nature,
attract a lot of unnecessary attention. Cell phones are subtle and can
be silent.

2. Cell phones won't ever peck their owners when they're feeling
disagreeable.

1. Sex by owl post takes too long, by the time your owl arrives at its
destination your partner isn't interested anymore.