Bad jokes ahoy

[mitchy]

It was one of Those Days today at work, where we had an attack of the sillies mid-afternoon. PartyGirl started it, naturally, by recounting one of the few jokes she can remember. To wit:

A group of tourists were in Australia and being given a guide tour of the bush. Suddenly they hear the familiar strains of a pop song .."Dancing Queeeen, young and sweet, only seventeeeeeen!". "Oooh!" says the guide, "that's an Abba-rigonal!"

Well, when we'd finished groaning, she was inspired to dig out a Bloke's Joke Book that was in her desk drawer (no, I don't know why it was there, I didn't feel like asking :)) and started reading out various jokes of very varied quality until even TooBrightTies was lured out of his office to listen in :)

One of the jokes that got a big giggle was "What's the definition of a man? A vibrator with a wallet." To which PG commented "I've ALWAYS said that if vibrators could mow the lawn, we wouldn't need men anyway." And when the giggling had died down, she read the best joke of the day - "How do you spot the blind man in a nudist colony? It isn't hard...."

The afternoon pretty much went downhill from there, really :D

Comments

[trampledamage.livejournal.com]

A couple of my favourite jokes:

A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'd like a gin and ... tonic please"
Barman asks "Why the big pause?"
The polar bear looks down and says "I don't know, I've always had them."

and

A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar, the barman says, "What is this? A joke?"

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

Following on from the bar theme, a man walks into one.

Thud.

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I love "walked into a bar" jokes. My current fave is a three-legged dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

:D

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

A piece of string walks into a bar. The barman says, 'We don't serve string here."

So the string steps outside, wraps itself round a couple of times, messes up its hair, and goes back in.

The barman says, "Here, you're not string, are you?"

The string replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

*groans*

OK, this means war..

A neutron walks into a bar and asks "How much for a pint of beer?" The barman replies "For you, no charge."

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

A sausage walks into a bar, along with his mate bacon. The barman says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

A termite walks into a bar and asks "Is the bar tender here?"

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!"

The grasshopper replies, "Really? You have a drink named Steve?"

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

A mushroom walks into a bar and the bartender immediately says "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here!" "Aww, why not?" the mushroom replies, "I'm a fun guy!"

[adelpha.livejournal.com]

A yoghurt, dressed in top hat and tails, walks into a bar. The barman says, "We don't like your kind here."

The yoghurt says, "Why not, good sir? I'm a perfectly cultured individual."

[mitchy.livejournal.com]

*shakyfist* I will have the last word in my own LJ, dammit!

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says "A pint of beer please, and one for the road."